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There are two episodes in my life that I swore I would complete.
First, I was bound and determined that I would find the answer to my health problems. It took me getting knocked to the ground more times than I care to remember, but I didn’t give up.
And finally, I made a commitment to myself in July 1995 that I would write a book about my experience. On a warm summer night, I walked into my office at home and started writing. I really had no idea where I was going, but I knew that I needed to finish the story.
When I mentioned the idea to a doctor at Scripps Hospital, he said the focus of the story was actually too narrow. I felt that finishing the book was important, if for no other reason than to give a copy to my family and my friends. While I may have trouble conveying my thoughts verbally, I’ve always been able to put them down on paper or in a computer.
My public relations company is called “The Idea Co.” I’ve failed to finish projects enough times to need “The Follow Up Company” and this was one time when I wanted to complete the task.
When I completed the forward, I sent it to Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist John L. Smith, who like me, came to the R-J after working as a sportswriter at the Las Vegas Sun. I have always felt that John is the best columnist in Las Vegas history, and probably one of the finest writers in the country.
He writes with heart. Not many writers have that talent.
When John wrote the book “Running Scared….The Life and Treacherous Times of Las Vegas Casino King Steve Wynn,” I went to see him in October of 1995 at a book signing. I purchased the book and asked John if he’d sign it for me.
John wrote a wonderful note for me. He ended the greeting with a request that would honestly be the biggest encouragement I could receive to finish this book:
“One of my favorite trivia questions. Who gave me encouragement when no one else would?
“Mike Henle. Thank you for your friendship and support.”
And then John would end the greeting that I would look at 10,000 times while attempting to finish “Through the Darkness: One Man’s Fight to Overcome Epilepsy.”
John wrote, “Please finish your book.”
Everytime I tired of writing the book and thought about throwing the whole thing in the trash, I looked at John’s note. I’d reach for John’s book, open the cover and his four words literally inspired me to keep going. It was that simple.Coming from a journalist as talented as John L. Smith, those words meant a lot to me. Every writer in the country needs one reason to keep going and that literally drove me to complete it. If John L. Smith thought my story was a good one, that was good enough for me.
The truth is that I wanted to write the book for several reasons. First, it was a part of my life that needed to be completed. After so many years of struggling and finally finding a cure to my health problems, I felt it needed to be told. Finishing the book adds a sense of closure to a lifelong illness that was corrected only by a group of absolute miracle workers.
It proves that the good guy wins in the end. My team -- my wife and three sons at my side, didn’t give up during the war. We held together. During 1994, our plate was overflowing, apparently so we could be tested. We survived some very challenging times from the time we arose in the morning until the time we went to bed at night. Every day was an adventure, filled with the unknown.Also, I felt my recovery was proof that people cannot give up. There is a reward at the end of a long fight, and I’m proof of that. There could not be a more grateful or happy person than Michael Anton Henle, who is nothing more than a 48-year-old man who has been working since he started selling newspapers on the streets of Carmel, Calif. at the age of seven.
Ironically, it was the age of seven when I had my first noticeable seizure. Perhaps I survived all those years because I kept my mind off the illness by working. Work has always been my greatest therapy.
But the truth is that finishing this book was the hardest task of my life. I first wrote the book, only to let it sit for quite some time. I pulled it out of the drawer one day and literally re-wrote the whole thing. It helped me during my recovery from brain surgery, because it allowed me to pour my feelings out - even if it was into a computer.This story is not filled with medical language because I’m a simple person who had a simple goal. Hopefully, people can identify with the story and find reason to keep going. I’ve always gotten a lot more out of helping others than I have for receiving a paycheck. The problem with society today is that we’re too busy to help one another, and that’s very sad.
Had it not been for the people like Lynn and Art Dufresne, my parents, my wife and children and the people of Scripps, Lord only knows where I would be today. I was a wayward kid in more trouble than any of us knew, and a select group of people saw something in me.
People found time for me, and lent me their hands when I needed to be helped. We should all be so lucky.
Society has become overrun with greed nowadays. We are so busy chasing the dollar that we have forgotten to help our fellow man. We have failed to take time to thank people for what they do for us. The end result is that we have lost something, and the values of society are not what they used to be.This book - no matter what is done with it - is intended to thank everyone for what they have done for me. I’ve been as guilty as anyone forgetting to offer a heartfelt sense of gratitude, so these writings are intended to let the world know how grateful I am for what I have.
This was written so that my family and my friends will have something that can be kept forever. It was written to remind us all that material belongings don’t mean a thing if we don’t have our health.
This isn’t a simple thank-you card that will be thrown away after time. It’s something that was written from the heart during all hours of the night. It was produced with the idea that it will hopefully inspire others to be thankful for what they have.
Reliving more than 38 years of seizures was not easy. Reproducing that portion of my life by writing about it was very difficult. I trudged through the time, and writing about the seizures -especially the gran mals - was just awful. It brought back so many bad memories, including the fears suffered by my family and myself.
We couldn’t go anywhere together without the fear of my having a seizure. We didn’t talk about the problem until it arose, but we all undoubtedly shared the same concern. We constantly had a cloud over our heads, and we were never sure when the storm would hit.It wasn’t until I reached the portion of the book that told of my finding an answer to my illness while researching books at the University of San Diego Medical Library that I began to get moving. It was at that point that the words began to flow and I began to feel good about the book. I literally found new life and energy.
In a sense, I began to recover again at that point. I needed a strong faith to understand there was a reason for all of this. It was faith that kept me going before the surgery and after. Call it the Dale Carnegie outlook on life.
It was then that I used the CD from the motion picture soundtrack “Patch Adams” for the background music. Never in my life have I ever seen such a powerful movie and the music literally generated line after line out of me.
Rod Stewart’s singing “Faith of the Heart” seemed to tell my own story, but I could identify with every song on the soundtrack. The whole movie is based on the belief that we need to take care of one another. A little understanding, a soft voice and a smile can combine for incredible healing powers.
In the end, it was the second breath I received from three people who reviewed portions of the book and added encouragement to finish the book.
Lynn and Art DuFresne, who lived across the street from me when I was a kid in Yuba City, Calif., now live in Oregon. When I e-mailed copies of some of the book, the response was always favorable.It was Lynn and Art who guided me during some very difficult times when I was 15. When I had nowhere to go, they rescued me from an emergency room where I had gone to put my mother in the hospital. They gave me a roof over my head, and encouraged me to go live with my dad in Las Vegas.
My dad had remarried and the woman he wed literally saved both of our necks. Barbara Henle may have been my stepmother, but I have never referred to her as anything other than “Mom.” The first time she laid eyes on me, her first words were “Welcome home,” something that I’d never forget.
Her being in Las Vegas for my dad literally led me to the beginning stages of an answer to my health problems. My dad and I had been through a lot, and her love and guidance were needed badly. She took both of us in and gave us reason to keep living.
My brother, Jim, (he’s also my stepbrother, but we might as well be blood brothers) was the only other person to receive the book as it was being finished. His words of encouragement were also helpful. As soon as I heard from him, I’d start rewriting more chapters again - and again and again.
Jim and my mom died before the book had been published, but their importance in this victory was immeasurable.
It’s very difficult for people to recognize their own story as being anything of any value. It took encouragement from many others, ranging from my family to the DuFresnes, to keep me going. If this book serves as inspiration in a very negative society, then the long hours included in it were worth it.
To borrow a few lines from “Faith of the Heart,” it was a long road getting from there to here. It was a long time, but my time was finally near.
Nothing is in my way. They’re not going to hold me down any more. I’ve got faith of the heart and I’m going where the heart takes me.
I have faith to believe I can do anything. No one is going to bend or break me.
I can do anything. I can reach any star. I have faith….faith of the heart. I’ve been through the darkness, but I finally have my day.
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