Graveyards all over the
country are being
vandalized by sick
individuals who are now
proving that even the dead
are not safe.
Headstones are being
broken or covered with graffiti
and there have even been
instances of vehicles being run
through the sacred grounds.
That said no one is going
to have to worry about such
a thing when my final days
have been lived.
You see, when my mom
died several years ago, she left
a request saying that when
she died, she wanted to be
cremated. Her remains were
to be spread over grounds in
the state of Colorado, where
my brother lived at the time.
When the time came to
address her wishes, we all
got out of bed and climbed
in a four-wheel drive pickup
for her final trip into the
mountains. With the clouds
hugging the mountains, it
was almost as though we had
entered a form of heaven.
Before this particular
moment, I had only been to
traditional funerals where
the individual is laid to rest
in a graveyard. I kept thinking
to myself that I was
indeed experiencing something
totally different as we
journeyed up that mountainside
in Colorado.
My dad made a cross that
was to be put in the ground
where we would spread her
ashes. We found the location,
walked from the truck and
found a beautiful place that
overlooked the valley below.
From there, we put the
cross in the ground, spread my
mom’s ashes and said a prayer.
It was so quiet you could hear
a pin drop. Between the low
clouds and the setting, it was
the most spiritual setting I had
ever experienced.
And when my brother
died, we followed the same
procedure as we did with
my mom. We gathered with
friends and relatives and
said our final goodbyes in his
favorite place.
I am hearing from more
people that they, too, have
made it clear that they would
rather avoid the traditional
graveyard and have decided
instead to be cremated and
have their remains spread in
an area dear to them.
No more graveyards
where loved ones have to
worry about gravesites
being disgraced by vandals.
No more paying for expensive
funerals with pricey
caskets and the rest.
Thinking back about when
my mom died, we had our
wills written and made certain
that our wishes were
addressed when we die. In
both our cases, we will be
cremated and our remains
spread in a special place.
In my case, I requested
that my ashes be spread
at sunset in the surf near
Scripps Clinic in Southern
California, where my own life
had received a boost through
major surgery in 1994.
My dad couldn’t wait to
reflect on the decision.
“Oh good,” he responded.
“The only problem is your
ashes are sure to create a tsunami
in San Diego.
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